#babe are you overcomplicating things in your mind again...

[paunchsalazar]

this was so normal….

[itsrlymine]

Stop Lying To Yourself About Not Having It When You Do

Your reality “changes” when you do. It “changes” when you decide it has changed. Nothing can happen for you before that. It moves with you and isn’t separate from you. That’s why I hate hearing people, in the year of 2025 like cmon bc so fucking fr, say that you need to ignore the 3d because it’s old. Focus on the 4d omg……. Babes, I’m not gonna hold your hand when I say this. EVERYTHING IS THE SAME AND EVERYTHING IS NOW FUCK. As the operant power, you literally get to label everything around you and give it the meaning you want. As long as you keep calling the 3d old and something that needs to catch up, it’s always gonna reflect that because that’s how you see it. You don’t ever go in front of a mirror and think you are seeing something old. You believe you are seeing something as it is in the moment. That’s how you need to view the world. Tell yourself you are seeing exactly what you want to see because you are. There is no “waiting” or “time delay” unless you literally say so bro wtf.  Nothing can delay your manifestation because you already have it. You already are it. That’s it. Stop playing around. Stop thinking you are being delusional. You know this information for a reason so use it for your benefit. You don’t get to just pretend you don’t know how this works anymore. If you want to sit around and watch people in this community create the life they want while you watch on the sidelines, that’s your business babes. Go you. Also, you are manifesting success for them by doing that so again do yourself a favor and just decide.  People get so tripped up by. The "just decide" or "just be" statements when it literally just means tell a new story about yourself or a thing. You want a new job ………. “Omg I love my new job.” You want a new place to live ……… “Omg my place is perfect wtf I did that fr.” You want to be in a relationship …….. “Why are we in such a perfect relationship omg this eats.” Stop overcomplicating it. Stop overthinking negatively and stop telling yourself you are doing something wrong or you need to do more to have what you want. Stop thinking you have to reprogram your subconscious mind. I’m not sorry at all y’all. Why the fuck do you have to reprogram your mind when you already have what you want? Did you reprogram you mind so you can be sure the moon comes out at night???? You didn’t so why are you trying to do that for anything else. For something you already have????????????? You can tell yourself once or 100k times it doesn’t matter. As long as you know that as the operant power in your reality that your words aren’t going into some empty void and that they will do what you sent them to do, they will. They have to. So choose differently and stop giving a fuck about doubt. Stop trying to put in effort towards getting something you already have. Who the fuck is doubt and who the fuck are you? Oh okay. 

[adambja]

Reality has many faces it's not just one concept or one perspective

It's ONLY the concept/perspective you want/choose SO quit worrying also

Baby wth are you even scared of you manifested that sh you are worried about so you can revise it too and trust me it works if it doesn't

Check your assumptions → change them then repeat

The results will change after changing your assumptions

The same with the void the same with your subconscious mind

And the same with how you view this experience of manifesting it's neverending btw because you were born with it! You can't quit manifesting at all you can't stop manifesting

Your assumptions?

Unremovable

Undestoryable - not a real word lol

Undamageable - again

But it's controllable and changeable

And those abilities you get from whatever they are from my tapes it's permanent or even your tapes (unless you choose something else)

Again it's that simple stop overcomplicating sh pls

Many things are being completed rn and see you in the next 72 hours babes 💋

[aiz-tea]

whenever I manifest something small, the moment I assume I already have it and it happens almost instantly And the thing is, I get too stressed and obsessed when I'm manifesting supposedly big things. I say I already have my desire but then during the day I go crazy about my desire not showing up so I go back to the state I don't have desire again, I know it's normal to have doubts when manifesting but I'm afraid of having a victim mentality. While I manifest small things very comfortably and confidently, I overcomplicate big things and it becomes an obsession. I am afraid of not being able to manifest the life I dreamed of. what should I do?

Contrary to popular belief, it’s fine to be obsessed, just affirm/change your thoughts. When you’re in a state of obsession, you constantly think ‘why do I not have this’ you just need to affirm that you already have it when you think like that.

AFFIRM. AFFIRM. AFFIRM.

And persist in this affirmation. Do it all day, idc if you’re making it a job or keeping alarms for it or whatever. Just affirm enough and your mind will start to think you have it, you’ll notice yourself getting less obsessed with it and it’ll naturally come to you.

That’s all. Everyone gets obsessed. I feel like we have this thing in the community where we put people who can manifest on a pedestal or look up to them. NO BABES IF THEY CAN DO IT, YOU CAN DO IT. PERIODT.

[buckyownsmylife]

Follow you - Chris Evans smut

The one where Chris becomes your roomate and finds out he has a domesticity kink... and more

Warnings: Smut, breeding kink, domesticity kink, friends to lovers, rommates au, pandemic mention, hair-pulling kink, daddy kink, cockwarming, kind of allusion to an age gap, but can be read as reader being into teasing chris

Word count: 4.1k

A/N: Thanks to @mollygetssherlockcoffee​ for reading this over and helping me make it better! You’re the sweetest person ever!  this is for my own birthday celebration challenge! Like I explained here, I’m going to try to fill every single AU I listed with the characters I picked for the challenge, and since the deadline if May 27, these fics will be posted randomly, as I finish them. Hope you guys like it!

Chris’ P.O.V.

“C’mon, sweetheart,” I’d been trying to convince her to close her laptop for the last two hours, unfortunately without any luck. She just glanced at me before returning to her document, and I groaned as I left the living room in search of what I knew we needed.

“Close the laptop and I’ll give you a sip.” This time when she looked up, she found me holding a bottle of my most expensive whiskey, the one she’d been dying to try ever since she first got invited to my place.

It was a tense moment of evaluation while she took in my offer and her workload, her head turning from her computer to me and then back to the device again, and I found himself growing anxious because of how desperately I wanted her company that night.

“Please?” I tried to convince her, even going so far as to pout - which at least earned me a giggle. I considered it a win, especially with the way it made my chest warm up. “C’mon, we deserve it! After the week we had?”

She frowned when she thought back on the stresses we had confided in each other for the last couple of days, and I watched with glee when she slowly closed her laptop, prompting me to wave my arms around in victory. “We?” She teased, getting up to stand before me with her arms crossed in front of her body, making me laugh.

“Alright, so maybe just you.” I couldn’t really deny that my work “problems” paled in comparison to hers. “Listen, I’m only trying to help.” She narrowed her eyes at me, reaching out for the bottle and unscrewing it before taking the sip I’d promised.

“Shit, this really is good.” A smug smile took over my face as I wrapped my arms around her, walking us back to the couch before making us fall over it.

“Only the best for you, babe.” I watched her roll her eyes at the pet name, snickering at how it affected her. I knew it made her giddy and she hated it, it’s why I insisted on doing it - or so I told myself.

Something deep inside of me whispered differently, though. I tried to ignore it. She was my best friend and we were going to be living together for the foreseeable future. No one knew when this pandemic would let up.

And lord knows that nothing positive had ever come out of my investments in romantic relationships. So every rational thought in my mind was begging me not to overcomplicate this. I couldn’t stand to lose her friendship, anyway. That’s why I had invited her to spend lockdown with me - my need to know she was okay, and be able to have her around whenever I needed to vent.

She was the only one outside my family who got my anxiety well enough to help me work through it when I was feeling bad, and she had even been able to prevent me from having panic attacks more than once.

I just couldn’t imagine going through this with anyone other than her. I simply hadn’t anticipated how fucking horny this period of forced sexual privation would make me, and I never expected her to become a willing victim to my needs.

But boy, once the liquor hit and she ended up over my lap, shivering as she rode my thigh without a care in the world, was I glad that she did.

“Is this what you like?” I asked, looking up at her with my mouth hanging open, unbelieving of how fucking sexy she looked as she used my body for her pleasure. I didn’t even care that my cock was straining against my jeans, begging me to move her on top of it. As long as I could keep enjoying the show, being a part of it, I was satisfied.

“I wanna learn it,” I pressed, moving my hands to hold her ass, squeezing it the way I’d always wanted to do but never allowed myself to dream about. “I wanna learn how to please you.” She made me feel something I hadn’t felt before, in any of my past relationships. There was attraction, of course, but there was also this deep, familiar feeling that made me feel at home. It made me feel safe, and with the help of alcohol, I was desperate to explore it.

“Ugh,” she groaned, letting her head fall back, drawing my attention to her breasts, the way they bounced in front of my eyes, unfortunately still covered. My mouth watered at the sight of it, wanting nothing much than to strip her bare and wrap my lips around one of her nipples.

“Don’t say stuff like that, Evans.” The comment threw me off, making me frown as I took a hold of the hair on the back of her head and yanked her to me, devouring her lips. They were soft - so much softer than I’d ever allowed myself to imagine.

“Why not?” I panted against her mouth once I was forced to separate from her taste of whiskey to search for some oxygen. She kept moving, her eyes hazy and glossed over, and it sent a pang of lust straight down my body when I realized it wasn’t completely due to the drinks we shared. There was also desire in there.

“You want to learn?” She asked, hands bunching up my shirt as she used her hold to grind against me faster. “Then fuck me, Chris.” She molded her body to mine, engulfing my lips once more as I laid her down on the couch, excited to have her underneath me - excited to see her naked body, explore it, get to know every little thing that made her tick.

I knew it would be a moment I’d forever remember, regardless of the amount of bourbon in my blood. I just never expected it to become something I was so eager to relive over and over and over again.

It was supposed to be a one time thing. When I woke up in the morning, I was ready to go back to being roommates. We were good at that. She was a morning person, by the time I woke up every morning, she already had breakfast ready for me, and then we’d go out to the backyard to let Dodger out together.

We’d sit and talk and then I’d go for a run - she’d have done her yoga already, while I was still asleep - I’d answer some e-mails, she’d work on her laptop by my side and the silence was just as comfortable as all of our late night conversations.

She’d sneak out to the kitchen and come back with a few sandwiches for our lunch, and then the rest of the day would go by with us doing whatever mundane task we had in mind, together even if we were doing separate things, and I didn’t feel suffocated.

I didn’t even run out of things to say. By the time dinner rolled around and I followed her back to the kitchen, cleaning up the dishes while she fixed us dinner - I wasn’t allowed to cook in my own stove, mostly because she was terrified of my food but hid it under the excuse of that one time when I started a fire - then we’d eat together, watch a movie together, talk until we fell asleep - always together.

I was shocked. It’d never been this way in any of my previous relationships. In fact, I was certain it was the reason why they had never worked. I’d given up on any realistic expectation of settling down precisely because of this: I just never expected to find anyone with whom a day-to-day life wouldn’t eventually grow boring.

It’d been three months and I still loved to wake up to her coffee. We still fell asleep every night side by side, too tired to move into different beds because we had laughed our asses off after skyping Scott.

And now that sex came into play in our relationship? I just knew there was no way I’d ever go back to being nothing but friends - or living in a place where she wasn’t the first person I saw when I woke up.

It sucked that it took a pandemic and a night of alcohol to make me realize that, but damn, was I grateful that I decided to open a bottle of whiskey that evening.

I kept waiting for the catch, the moment it would all go to shit, but it never came. Our lives resumed to how they used to be, only now I had this ongoing inner battle to not just bend her over the nearest piece of furniture when we were busy, and the ability to do exactly that whenever there was nothing else to do.

And for a while it was bliss. There wasn’t a nagging voice inside my head questioning this arrangement because it was theoretically perfect. I had a best friend, a roommate and a fuck buddy, all wrapped into one single person that I adored.

Life couldn’t possibly get better - until I realized that I wanted more. Talks of lockdown being over started and she had plans of going back to her place, of course, but I couldn’t stand the thought of being away from her.

I wanted to see my family too, but I wanted to take her with me. Introduce her to my mom, see her get along with my sisters. Witness how she’d be with my nephews and nieces - I knew how much she loved kids. And that’s when it hit me.

I’d given my heart to her. Somewhere between the morning coffees and afternoon runs, the nights where I’d rant about all of my silly problems and she actually listened to them - really listened, never making me feel bad about what could only be described as rich people problems.

All the innocent little gestures, and the not so innocent ones - when I discovered she was exactly the nasty slut I’d always dreamed of, the way she would randomly drop to her knees and suck me off, even while I was on the phone. Most times she didn’t even let me repay the favor. She just genuinely liked to blow me.

She also liked to play with me randomly, like when we were watching a movie and she mindlessly reached for my crotch, rubbing me until I got hard. It almost always ended in sex, and I just loved it.

I loved it, and I loved her, and the idea of her ever sharing this idyllic lifestyle with anyone else made me irrationally jealous.

And that’s how I knew it. I didn’t want to mess it up. But how could I not fuck this up?

Xxx

“Chris…” Her sweet voice called out to me, reaching my ears while I was hiding in my office, trying to get my thoughts in order so I wouldn’t just randomly blurt out what I was feeling for my best friend to my best friend.

To her credit, she didn’t try to force me to keep her company - but that only made me fall even deeper for her, leaving me a complete and utter mess while she went about her day as if nothing was wrong in the world.

“Yes?” I looked up to see her by the threshold, clearly reticent about invading my privacy. It made me smile, thinking back on all of the times my exes hadn’t been as understanding, even after I let them clearly know what I was needing.

“I made cupcakes, do you want me to bring you one?” The thought of her in the kitchen, baking a sweet treat just for me had my cock twitching in my pants. Biting my lips, I pushed away from my desk to finally get up and stretch my legs, taking advantage of the monitor to hide my hard-on.

“No, I’ll come eat them downstairs with you.” She smiled before leaving, and I soon trailed after her, walking into the kitchen to find the most delicious-looking little treats, just waiting to be devoured.

Much like her, I supposed.

I was reaching for one of them, already licking my lips in anticipation when something caught my eye, prompting me to raise my gaze and look at her again, but really look at her this time.

She was wearing an apron.

There was nothing inherently sexual about the damn thing, but the way she looked with it, going about her business in my kitchen like she owned the place… It just felt right, seeing her there.

And suddenly I couldn’t hold back anymore.

“Y/N…” I started, leaving the cupcake back on the counter and brushing off the crumbs as I circled the kitchen island to go stand in front of her. She hummed before turning to meet me, smiling slightly to signal that she was listening to what I had to say.

But I didn’t know how to say it. So we just stood there, staring at each other until eventually her smile became a frown. “Chris, what’s going on?” I still couldn’t speak. Much to my absolute surprise though, she just sighed, wiping her hands on the apron while shaking her head, a knowing smile on her face.

“You’re stressed, aren’t you? You’ve been working so much, that’s why I thought the cupcakes would be a good idea,” she explained nodding towards the tray where her sweet treats laid. “They’re a reward and a break all wrapped in one delicious cake.”

The comment was like a punch to the stomach - or a scalding wave of desire rushing through my body, straight to my groin. The idea of her thinking about my needs and catering (quite literally) to them just did something to me, and I didn’t know how to explain it - I don’t think I understood it myself.

“But since they didn’t work…” she continued, blissfully unaware of the conundrum she had put me into. “I know something else that will definitely work.” And just like that, the woman dropped to her knees in front of me, reaching for my sweatpants before I could find a way to close the mouth that was hanging open.

“I guess I’ll grab a sweet treat for myself.” She looked so devious, small hand encircling my already pathetically engorged member, that all I could do was whisper an, “Oh, shit,” when she immediately wrapped her lips around it,  starting to suck me off without any preamble.

My fingers were white as I held onto the counter behind me to keep myself up. She looked so good, staring up at me with her lips wrapped around my dick, I felt like I was about to blow already.

Why did she have to be such a fucking tease?

“Oh, God,” I moaned when she managed to engulf the entirety of my member inside her throat, the choking noises getting to my head. My hand instinctively laced with her hair, first to hold her lips close to my navel, then to pry her completely off of my member.

“What’s wrong?” She questioned once she was able to speak, surprise written all over her features while I was still staring down at her slightly teary face and trying to find my voice.

“I-I have a problem.” There. I said it. I had finally made some progress in my goal to let her know what was going through my head. Only instead of curiosity, what I got was a confused expression from the woman still holding my dick, her eyes darting from my own to the member throbbing between her fingers.

“No, you don’t!” It would have been funny if I wasn’t so fucking frustrated. Yanking her by the hair, I complained, “Not that kind of problem!” pulling her to the living room so I could throw her on the couch, trying to ignore her moans of pleasure in the process.

I’d figured out pretty early on that she had a pretty serious hair-pulling kink, and if my plans of sitting down and having a level-headed conversation were ever in motion, they surely went out of the window the second she pulled my body down to cover hers and adjusted my cock so it would easily fill her.

“Son of a…” I groaned, letting my head fall down against her chest as the little vixen gleefully giggled underneath me, legs wrapped around my torso as she tried to thrust up and tempt me to move.

“Just wait a second,” I managed to reason, but she just shook her head.

“Fuck away your problem, Chris. Use me. I want you to.” Motherfucker. I really couldn’t catch a break with her. Just as she started to make me move again, my hand instinctively wrapped around her neck, lightly squeezing it just enough to get her to shut up.

“I wanna start a family with you,” I finally spilled, looking deep into her eyes as I tried to ignore that I was still balls deep inside of her. Her eyes widened, and now her mouth was the one hanging open.

I couldn’t really relish in it because she looked absolutely delicious and she felt stupidly heavenly to my throbbing dick.

A few seconds went by without as much of a reaction from her and I was about to pull out - despite still being achingly hard - but her legs held me tighter, stopping my plans of leaving her tight haven.

“You know…” She started to speak, a little out of breath, catching my attention as I finally gathered the courage to look her in the eye again. “When I first met you, I thought you were the epitome of a fuckboy.”

The unexpected sentence had me snorting, and then I just couldn’t stop laughing. Finally pulling away from her, she fixed her hair when she sat up and I did the same, shaking my head slightly as I rubbed my eyes.

Our own relative nakedness - well… mine, she was wearing her usual dress with no underwear under the damn apron - didn’t affect anything when I pondered over her words, until I decided to break the silence.

“I mean… I think I was?” She chewed on her bottom lip as she took in my response, analyzing it, weighing its validity in that gorgeous head of hers. I was nervous, but she hadn’t blew me off yet. And quite honestly? I’d do anything for that little hope that was growing inside of me.

“What changed?” Was her question, so unexpected I couldn’t help but question, “Huh?”

“What made you change?” It wasn’t an unwelcome inquiry, especially when the response became clear to me, lighting up my brain and warming my chest, spreading all over my body until I had no choice but to voice it.

“I realized I could have a future with you.” My smile was vulnerable but honest, and in her eyes, I could see that she knew that. When she threw one leg over my lap, straddling my hips, I allowed myself to breathe deeply again, leaning on the soft cushion while taking a hold of her ass.

“So, how are we gonna do this?” She non-nonchalantly asked, slowly rubbing herself against my still half-hard member. I groaned when I realized the implication of her words, knowing that the meaning paired with the feeling of her wet lips dragging along my cock would get it back up in no time at all. “You wanna do me right now?”

The brashness of the question made my eyes light up, as weird as it may sound. In that moment, it became clear just how perfect for me she really was, giving me what I needed exactly in the way I didn’t know how to ask for it.

“See? This is why I’m in love with you.” She rolled her eyes at that, making me laugh. I’d anticipated the gesture, I knew it’d take her longer to say it, but it was alright. The fact that she was willing me to give me a child was more than enough proof of her feelings for me, if her entire behavior ever since she moved in wasn’t already.

“Shut up and fuck me, Evans.” Throwing her back against the couch, she yelped in surprise when I took off my shirt and slapped the inside of her thigh, assuming my usual position of hovering over her smaller frame.

“Spread your fucking legs, darling. I’m gonna fuck you real good.” The way she bit her lip as I slowly penetrated her again showed me just how excited the prospect got her, and as I started to make good on my promise, her moans told me just as much.

“Holy fuck,” she commented as I pounded her ruthlessly, weeks of frustration and the rush of anticipation getting the best of me, and I was glad for the feeling of her nails biting into my skin because otherwise, I’d probably run over the edge of not even caring about her own pleasure as I chased mine.

“You gonna cum inside of me, honey? Make me a mom? Finally fulfill your dream of becoming a daddy?” Her words detracted me from my task of sucking bruises on the skin that was now mine to bruise, mine. I threw my head back, yelling a, “fuck yes,” as my hips sped up, desperate to fill her up, but I was determined to get her to cum before me.

“Say it,” she ordered, small hand circling my throat as best as she could, a throwback to what I’d done only moments prior. It wasn’t enough to choke me, but it did catch my attention. “I wanna hear you say it.”

Tears escaped the corners of my eyes as I blinked, the intensity of the moment overwhelming in the best of ways. “God, you are such a fucking tease…” She chuckled underneath me, giving my throat a squeeze before she raised up on her elbows to kiss my jaw.

“Better get used to it… daddy.” And just like that, I realized that I had yet another kink I hadn’t known about before her. Or maybe it was just her, and I was obsessed with the damn woman, painfully turned on by every little thing that she did.

“I’m gonna cum deep inside your little pussy, sweetheart,” I finally gathered myself enough to do as she asked me to. “You’re gonna belong to me forever now. Give me kids, make me happy. How do you like that?”

The mischievous grin she gave me told me everything. “I love it.” I knew this was her way of saying what she couldn’t yet voice, and I’d take it. I’d take anything she gave me, any chance I got to love this wonderful woman.

We came together, both riding our highs in deep ecstasy. I moaned when I felt myself empty all of my seed inside of her, incredibly excited about the prospect of starting our future together right then.

“You’re so fucking beautiful.” I cradled her face in my hands as I struggled to catch my breath, but she turned it to the side and pressed a kiss to my palm and I was breathless all over again. It was such a simple action, why did it get to me so much?

“You’re not too bad yourself, Chris.” I didn’t want to part with her warmth, so I just adjusted us on the sofa in a way that kept me inside of her, sighing contently as I realized I’d never have to sleep away from her again.

“I’m gonna stay right here all night.” I adjusted myself so I was resting my face on her boobs, perfectly happy to do just so, but by the tone of her voice, I knew she had a teasing smile when she called me an, “Old man.”

“And here I was, thinking you’d be able to go again.” Warmth filled my chest at the realization of just how badly she wanted me - just as much as I wanted her too. I was so damn ecstatic. Not even her pokes at my age would be able to affect me.

“Oh, darling… better get ready,” I warned as I adjusted myself to hover over her again, taking notice of the excited glint in her eyes, the way she bit her lip as she stared back at me. “I’m never gonna get enough of you.”

The next morning, I added a new kink to the list of random bits of information that were driving me slowly insane as I felt the overwhelming need to bend the woman that I now got to call ‘mine’ over the nearest piece of furniture and rail her until I had cummed deep inside her pussy: seeing her in my shirt while cooking breakfast.

Yeah, I was going to live a happy life by her side.

[isthisthingeven0n]

knowing you : s.r

spencer has been a regular at your cafe for a few months, and after working up the courage to ask you on a date he disappears out of the blue without an explanation. (2.4k)

knowing you / forgetting you / remembering you / with or without you / starting over, with you 

There were elements to your job that you had a love/hate relationship with. The mornings where you woke up before the sun fully had, dealing with rude customers deprived of their first dose of caffeine along with the pseudonyms they provide you with (which you’ve learned you can’t always yell out as the elders freak out.) And lastly, your staff (but they tended to lean heavier on the love side of things.)

Yet, amongst all of it, you still managed to smile by the time you closed up in the evening. You adored your little cafe, though it was never heaving with people, it was comfortable.

“Hey, look who’s hovering outside.” Your colleague, Maggie nudges you playfully as you glance over the counter to the large window filled with your menu written in calligraphy.

And standing in front of it, the quiet smart guy you’ve grown fond of; Spencer.

A smile grows across your face, but you hide your head in the steam that rises from the milk for a second. “It’s been what, two days since he was last here?” Maggie quips, waiting for you to comment.

“Everyone’s gotta get coffee somewhere, Mags.” You remind her, brushing it off.

Spencer was a customer at the end of the day, just like everyone else. Just because he came to your cafe doesn’t mean he’s here for anything more than his double espresso and a blueberry muffin. Even if your heart wished it could be more.

Pushing open the door, the little bell sounds and Spencer looks up before smiling over to you. “Morning, Spencer.” You beam as you lean across the counter as Spencer eyes up the various pastries and paninis you had to offer this morning.

“Hi,” Spencer speaks quietly, clutching his satchel across his chest. “could I get a double espresso and two muffins, please?”

“A double?” Maggie pitches in, and Spencer looks over to your colleague who stands beside you, holding back her tongue as Spencer nods. 

“Caffeine stimulates a similar effect as the stress hormone cortisol, which is secreted in large amounts after an hour or two of waking up in the morning. It takes on the form of waking you up, making you believe you need the caffeine as, without it, you can have stomach aches, headaches and trembles.” Spencer rambles, and you nod in appreciation for the knowledge. “And I prefer a double.”

“Guess you like strong coffee, then.” Maggie mutters, giving you the eye as you smile to yourself.

Turning around you carry on prepping the machine as the espresso drips into the paper cup. “Two muffins, huh? Saving one for later?” You chuckle as you pick the two freshest muffins out that are still warm from the oven.

And then you hear it, Spencer’s awkward chortle that causes butterflies to flutter in your stomach and rise to your throat.

Swallowing the butterflies back down, you place the box onto the counter alongside his coffee, his name written across it with a smiley face.

“Well, I wanted to take one for my friend, Garcia. She’s been by here before, I don’t know if you’d remember her?” Spencer explains and watches you closely, noticing how your eyes drift off into deep thought and your tongue slips through your lower lip before you shake your head. “She probably complimented every single detail in the cafe, wore something colourful?” He adds, and suddenly your eyes light up as you remember.

“Penelope? How could I forget! I’ll give her a complimentary muffin if she comes in again.” You giggle, and Spencer’s eyes crinkle up as he accepts the small box and coffee.

“She’ll love that. Thank you.” Spencer states as he places the cash onto the counter and adds a few dollars to your tip jar- something you forget exists as it collects dust most days, but Spencer always leaves a three dollar tip.

“Thank you, Spencer. Have a good day.” You begin to turn away as you clean up the counter and coffee machine, missing the longing glance Spencer has before he heads to the door, but thankfully Maggie is watching like a hawk.

“Have a good day?” Maggie mutters, crossing her arms. “He was giving you the eyes, babe.” She comments, but you roll your eyes in response once more.

Picking up your tray, you move past the counter and over to clean up a table. “He wasn’t, Maggie.” You simply reply. 

“He was dear.” A new voice pitches in, one of your regulars, Annie. “Finding someone who looks at you like he does is a rare thing, I would know.” Annie’s focus drifts to the empty seat opposite her, one that has been vacant for a few months since her husband passed. 

“I don’t know, Annie,” You trail off, but some of your other regulars also comment on the small looks exchanged between you and Spencer. “Sorry. am I being interrogated in my own cafe?” You joke as three of your regulars laugh before returning to their own conversations. 

“Don’t let it slip out of your grasp, Y/n.” Annie finishes as she rises to her feet, leaving her mug with a few dollar bills underneath before walking out of the exit. 

Sighing deeply, you run your fingers through your hair as your mind goes blank, unable to apprehend how various people have seen you giving Spencer those soppy glances and the fact they might be reciprocated? 

You shrug it off, allowing your mind to return to work as another customer comes in, and your day can proceed as normal. 

*

“Bye guys,” You wave off your colleagues as Maggie closes the door behind her, leaving you to close up for the evening. 

It had been a fairly slow day, but Thursdays tended to be in the cafe so it wasn’t anything to worry about. 

As you walk around to the counter and bend down to collect the leftover cakes you hear the bell chime. “Sorry, we’re closed!” You call out, placing a few cakes away before lifting your head up to see a rather flustered Spencer. “Spencer?” 

Pushing his hair out of his face, Spencer sighs happily as he smiles to you. “Hi, I, I’m sorry I didn’t realise you closed at 6.” He rambles, a look of hopelessness in his gaze. “I’ll head out, sorry for bothering you, Y/n.” 

Spencer turns around, but before he reaches the door, you stop him. “Spencer?” Immediately, Spencer awkwardly spins on his heels, facing you once more. “Would you like a coffee, one for the road anyway?” You shyly suggest, watching as Spencer’s smile only widens as he nods. 

“I’d love that, I, I only just got back from a work trip and thought I’d see if you were still open.” Spencer explains as you push aside your containers and take out a go cup. 

“That’s alright, I like to do what I can for my regulars.” You chuckle, placing the cup on the counter. As Spencer reaches into his satchel, you shake your head. “Oh don’t worry ‘bout it, Spencer.” You tell him and Spencer pauses. 

“I have to pay you, Y/n!” He laughs, but you insist. “Well, at least let me help you close up.” 

“Spencer it’s fine honestly. You’re probably tired as it is.” You shrug him off, expecting him to just walk out after that. 

But Spencer isn’t like any other guy, he takes a sip of his coffee and removes his satchel and places it on a chair. “Where do I start?” He questions, rolling the sleeves of his purple shirt up to his elbows, prepared for business. 

The sight makes you laugh lightly, he looks adorable in every sense which makes you slightly flustered. “Well erm,” You look around, trying to think of an easy job that’ll result in the least hassle for him. “how about you put these cakes away? I’ll drop them off to the food shelter on my way home.” You explain, motioning to the containers and Spencer nods, taking his place behind the counter whilst you clean the tables. 

Pausing from placing the cakes into containers, Spencer looks up in awe as you carry on cleaning. “Do you have any flaws?” He thinks to himself, knowing the answer rationally is yes, as every human being has 10 design flaws in the human body, but you personally, he can’t imagine any. 

“Did you say something, Spencer?” You quip, lifting your head up as Spencer quickly shakes his head, missing the smile on your lips as you hold back a soft laugh. 

“Which food bank do you take these to?” Spencer asks as you move onto your last table, picking up your small menus and coasters whilst you place them onto the chairs. 

“Usually the one two blocks over, but sometimes I stop on the way to Gary - he’s a homeless veteran who camps out under the bus shelter. He’s a good man, but life hasn’t been kind to him.” You explain, thinking how different his life could’ve been. “I’ve tried offering him a job here before, but he shakes uncontrollably.” 

“That sounds like a sign of PTSD, Veterans used to go undiagnosed during the war and suffered from vivid flashbacks, trembling, nausea and intrusive thoughts. Most were outcasted from society, but expected to adjust to normal life afterwards which is what leads many to the streets.” Spencer explains, and once he finishes, you raise an eyebrow. 

“And here I thought you were just a pretty face.” You chuckle, causing a blush to cross Spencer’s cheeks. “You’ve never told me what you do Spencer, outside of drinking heavy doses of caffeine.” 

Spencer rests his hands out over the ledge behind the counter as you walk over, discarding the cleaning supplies beside him. “I work for the FBI.” He starts, and you nod along, trying to hide your surprise. “For the BAU, the behavioural analysis unit. We analyse peoples behaviour to assist in cases around the country to help solve crimes.” Spencer explains simply, not wanting to overcomplicate the matter as your eyes widen. 

“So you analyse people’s behaviour? Does that mean you’ve analysed me?” You slowly trail off as you move away from Spencer and sit down at one of the tables, suddenly feeling self-conscious as his eyes remain on you.

Moving across the cafe, Spencer pulls out the chair opposite you and rests his hands on the table, firmly clasped together. He doesn’t want to lie to you, but he equally does not want to sound like a creep.

“You can be honest, Spencer.” It’s as if you can read his mind as you give him those warm eyes that greet him in the mornings, making him sure that whatever happens at work, you’ll be alright when he next comes in.

Fidgeting ever so slightly, Spencer closes his eyes to allow his mind to focus- something that is usually effortless, but whenever you cross his thoughts they become scrambled.

“You are a warm person naturally, an extrovert as you invite people into your cafe. Mornings are a struggle as you keep a refillable cup by your side next to the coffee machine. I saw you refill it last Tuesday and it must’ve been at least your third cup as I was later that day. You like to please others, make them happy and by doing so you sacrifice your own wellbeing. Helping people makes you happy, but you don’t do it for selfish reasons which I like a lot about you, Y/n.” Spencer explains, and as he looks up you stare at him in a state of awe.

“And you got all that, from interacting with me every week?” You laugh lightly, leaning back in your chair as astonishment crosses your eyes as you click your tongue. 

“Yes.” Spencer curtly nods. “That and I have an IQ of 187, an eidetic memory and 3 PHD’s.” He adds nonchalantly. 

“Just casually slipping that into conversation, Doctor.” You raise an eyebrow, and Spencer brushes his fingers through his curls. 

Tearing your eyes from him, you look up at the clock and swear under your breath. “I’m sorry, Spencer, I’ve got to go.” You tell him with a sad smile, not wanting this to end as he gathers his things along with his cold coffee- not that he’d ever tell you otherwise.

Spencer hovers by the doorway as you switch off the last of the lights and juggle the containers in your arms along with your keys. “Let me help with that, Y/n.” Spencer reaches out, his fingers gliding over yours as he takes the boxes painfully slowly.

“Thanks,” You mutter as you turn the sign over on the door and lock it behind you whilst Spencer stands idly outside, the temperature dropping fastly compared to the LA sunshine he had experienced mere hours beforehand. “my cars just up here, do you mind?”

Shaking his head, Spencer walks alongside you. It feels strange, interacting with him outside of your little bubble, but to him, he likes the chance to burst the comfort bubble.

Bearing in mind all that Penelope and Derek have told him on the jet home, Spencer places the containers in the trunk of your car before you close it.

“Well, this is me.” You rock back and forth on your heels as Spencer wracks his mind to communicate with his mouth. “Spencer?” You wave your hand over his face, and suddenly he snaps out of his deep thoughts.

“Sorry,” He mutters, tugging on his scarf. “Y/n, would you like to go out somewhere, sometime? I mean, I love your cafe, but a change of scenery never hurt.” Spencer asks, and he can see the surprise in your expression as you glance away to your feet. “If not, that’s okay. I understand-” 

“I’d love to.” You cut him off from his own doubts as you step closer and rise to your tiptoes, kissing his cheek. “Here’s my number, I keep some business cards in my pocket.” You hand him your card and Spencer runs his thumb over the embossed logo. 

“I’ll call you.” Spencer tells you with a bright smile, one that causes butterflies to swarm in your stomach as you walk to your car door. “Drive safe, Y/n.” 

“Take care Doctor,” You salute to Spencer before you close your door, driving off out of sight as a squeal escapes your lips in excitement at the thought of Spencer calling you.

Except, what you missed as you turned the corner was Spencer getting a phone call that would change everything for the worse, leaving you in the dark as Spencer answers his phone with his full heart now sinking. 

He’s heading to Mexico.

PART TWO

[death-himself]

Could You Meet Me Beyond the Grave?—Chapter 11

Summary: Emile goes out into the forest to talk to Patton as they walk to the tower

Pairings: Eventual LAMP/CALM, Remile, QPR RED

Word Count: 1,160

Warnings: Fear, Mention of death, I think that’s it?

previous next (AO3 Link)

The moment the human stepped within eighty feet of the tower, we were on the defense. Their scent was too mixed with all the other scents of the forest, making it a bit difficult to discern who exactly it was. But after a few more steps, I began to recognize the sweet aroma.

“Shit! What’s he doing here?”

“Who now?” Remy asked. Emile thought for a moment, sniffing the air a bit before gasping. “Wait, that’s one of your soulmates, isn’t it?”

“Yeah.” I mumbled out. Dee was silent. I was unable to tell what he could be feeling, but I feared for the worst. He took a deep breath, in and out.

“Virgil, what would you like to do about him?” His voice was monotone and emotionless; it almost scared me. I tilted my head to the ground, Patton’s scent growing stronger as he came closer. He was clearly lost, but he was making his way, slowly but surely. Our only options were to leave the tower until he was gone, try and convince him to leave, or—

“I have an idea!” Emile chirped. “Which of us do you think is the least threatening-looking?” We all went silent, expecting him to answer his own question. Only after a full minute of silence did Remy speak up.

“You’re kidding, right? Babe, you are the most normal-looking out of all of us.”

“Yeah, like seriously, only your eyelids were torn up when you turned.” I spoke.

“You did have the most...peaceful death out of all of us.” Dee added quietly. Emile made a small noise as if about to object, before humming quietly. “Yeah, I guess dying in a hospital bed surrounded by people I loved is a lot better than what happened to you guys.” He went silent for a moment, likely reminiscing about his time when he was alive.

“I’m gonna go talk to him. If he’s here to try and kill us, which he most likely isn’t here to do, I’ll ask him to leave. We don’t have to overcomplicate this.” I could feel his smile directed at me, and couldn’t stop my lips from smiling back. Emile just had that kind of ability. He walked over to the door, pulling it open and close, before running off through the forest.

Patton froze when he saw the blind man with glasses walking through the woods in his direction, a white cane moving back and forth in front of him. It was one of Virgil’s friends, the one that had wanted to tell Virgil that the three of them were his soulmates in the beginning. Even though he felt a bit better about this guy compared to the others, he still felt uncomfortable and nervous.

“Good evening! Do you how do?” Patton blinked, staring at the man for a moment. “Uh...good?” He peeped.

“That’s good. Is it alright if I walk with you?”

“Oh, uh, sure thing!” The man quickly fell in line with him, seeming to guide him towards their tower. “So you’re one of Virgil’s soulmates? He recognized your scent.” Patton couldn’t help but shudder at the thought. The idea of Virgil being able to track him down and know where he was like a bloodhound was just a bit unsettling.

“Yep! That’s me! I was hoping we could maybe talk a bit, now that I’m not, you know...tied up.” The man flinched at that, giving Patton a bit more comfort, strangely enough.

“I’m really sorry about that. It would’ve been wrong even if you weren’t Virgil’s soulmates. I had a...semi-professional therapy session with Dee about it, and he knew he shouldn’t have done it and he’s gonna try and make it up to you. It took him five hours to admit it and come around, he’s really stubborn, but...he doesn’t lie to me. At least from what I know.”

Patton watched as the man turned his cane over in his hand, his eyeless gaze seeming to be fixed on the handle. From what Patton knew of that Dee guy, he seemed willing to lie to anyone to do or get what he wanted. Then again, he had been kidnapped by him, so maybe he had a biased opinion. He didn’t know Dee for very long, so what would he know?

“Let’s just try to start over.” He spoke slowly. “I’m Patton. And you are?”

The man smiled. “Emile. Nice to properly meet you.” They walked in silence for a moment, the feeling between them lingering in a strange in-between of awkwardness and somewhat comfort.

“By the way, I’ve been wondering,” Patton spoke up, trying to break the ice, “why are you wearing glasses when you don’t see?” Emile looked a bit surprised by the question, before laughing and pushing his glasses up his nose.

“When I first met Dee, he went on this whole dramatic spiel about Willows and what we are and all that. Then he tried to touch my eyes and ended up touching my glasses instead. He was so surprised he hissed and fell over. It was adorable!”

Emile thought for a moment, a smile on his face. “Then when I met Remy and found out he was my soulmate, he tried to flirt with me and said that my glasses looked cute. But neither of us can see, so it was a bit of a fail. As suave as he is, he’s not too good at non-sexual flirting. It was cute, though.”

Seeing Emile from this point of view instead of looking up at him while tied up was strange. It was like seeing a murderer and a therapist at the same time, which he supposed was actually pretty accurate. Silence filled the area again, until they finally reached the tower. Emile had Patton stop at the door, turning to face him with a concerned expression.

“Patton, I’m not asking you to forgive Dee, I know that’d be...a little difficult, especially now. If it makes you more comfortable, I can ask him to stay in his room. Remy and I can stay with him while you get your time with Virgil.”

Patton hid his urge to scream his thanks to him. While he was mostly fine with Emile himself by now, Remy and especially Dee absolutely terrified him, no matter how freaked out Dee had been of Emile’s glasses and how bad at flirting Remy was. “That sounds good, so long as they don’t mind.”

“Okie dokie, you just stay out here, I’ll have Virgil let you in once we’re out of your hair!” With that, Emile walked in, closing the door slowly behind him. After a few moments Patton heard a bit of muffled groaning inside, sounding as if it were getting higher up and more distant as whoever it was stomped up the stairs.

Patton took a deep breath, looking forward, his heart pounding in his head. The door opened, and there Virgil stood.

[motherlifesucher-archives]

Overcomplicated l Shawn Mendes Imagine.

(a/n): heyyyy! this is kinda based on the song “Why”. It was supposed to be posted earlier but here was a 6,6 mini earthquake on my country lol. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it!

summary: The more famous they became, the hardest it turned for Shawn &(Y/N) to confess their feelings, but the Grammys might the the push they needed.

The first thing Shawn did to celebrate his Grammy nominations was to dial one of his closest friends, (Y/N), who had also scored three nominations, and they were both nominated for Best Pop Vocal Album with their self-titled albums, and Song of The Year. 

They freaked out over the phone, even if they were across the world. They wanted nothing more than to just hug each other and have a Grey’s Anatomy marathon to celebrate. 

He then called Camila, who teased him saying both of her friends’ being nominated on the same category should be a sign that he should find the guts to ask (Y/N) out.

He laughed at his friend before hanging up and trying to understand what the fuck was going on.

Soon enough his phone couldn’t stop vibrating from people congratulating him. Family, friends, people on the industry. He even scored a call from both James Corden and Ellen DeGeneres. 

Geoff teased his friend saying he should ask (Y/N) out before the ceremony, just in case he won and she didn’t want to see him again. They both laughed knowing she’d never do that, but it seemed like his friends were running out of ideas to make him ask her out on a date, but nothing seemed to work out.

He remembered the chills that ran down his spine when he saw her presenting in the Golden Globes next to Timothée Chalamet. She looked gorgeous. He always found it hard to keep his attention on the stage when she was next to him, and the Grammys wouldn’t be the exception. 

Should he ask Andrew to call the awards production and ask to not be seated next to her? 

No, of course it would find its way to the public and she’d be hurt. Besides, Camila had already texted him saying the three would be sitting pretty close with Taylor Swift. 

Hell, even Taylor Swift had tried to play matchmaker while she was visiting her on tour and he got to perform!

There was a part of him aching to see what her lips would feel against his. How disheveled her hair would look right after waking up in the morning. To be the inspiration behind her songs. To be the reason why her eyes shone so bright and her smile grew bigger just because she saw him.

He knew she already was his inspiration. The impotence of seeing her and not being able to declare his love was driving him crazy, and he knew the only one who could fix that was himself, but there was too much at stake.

Their friendship was precious; they understood each other in a way not many people could, and it wasn't because they both were in the public eye, but because they understood each other on a cellular level. It was like they were the same person and he knew there was a bright future for them.

He just needed to grow some balls and do the right thing. 

Everyone around him said she felt the same way, but Shawn only dismissed them with a sigh smile while shaking his head in denial. They were only doing it so that he could grow the confidence to do what his heart desired so deeply. 

He couldn’t help but torture himself with other possible scenarios. What if he had never dated Hailey and instead he had asked her out? At that point his feelings for (Y/N) were clear, yet he still went out with the model.

What if he had asked her out the moment he saw her for the first time almost six years ago?

Was he overcomplicating things? Probably. 

-

Nerves were taking over his body as he got out of the limo, only to be bombarded with flashes and screams of his name.

He politely waved before posing and paying attention to a girl with a clipboard giving him instructions. 

He then was walked to the red carpet, patiently waiting for his turn while greeting people. He started making conversation with Niall before the entire room lit up in front of him.

There she was.

Wearing the most gorgeous gown he had ever seen. Was it because she was the one wearing it? Probably. 

He noticed the way her smile grew ten times bigger when she saw him, and even with her uncomfortable dress she made her way towards him and hugged him.

“It’s so good to see you!” She tightened the embrace before letting go of him. 

“You look beautiful,” He said and noticed Niall hiding his smirk from the side. 

“Thanks. You don’t look too bad yourself,” She smiled before quickly greeting Niall who was being ushered to the red carpet. 

“So, I heard we are sitting next to each other,” She said excitedly. 

“And next to Camila and Taylor. It’s gonna be awkward when one of us wins” He chuckled and she softly hit his arm.

“Don’t be an idiot. I’m honestly not expecting to win, are you?”

“You gotta have some confidence in yourself, babe,” He said and she felt the color rush to her cheeks.

They knew that even in the small tent where they waiting, people were snapping pictures of both of them. Shawn wanted to add something when a woman in a black dress with a sign with his name interrupted, saying it was time to walk down the carpet.

“Meet me in the carpet?” He asked and she smiled.

“You can count on it, rockstar,”

it was his time to blush at her words before following the woman, and soon enough he was met with tons of flashes and people telling him to give them smiles and posing in different angles. 

He soon moved down the carpet and saw the same woman appear with a sign with her name. 

He felt his attention shift from the photographers to her, as she cautiously stepped on the red carpet and started posing like she was born to do it. 

She noticed him and sent a wink and a smile before she continued with her work. Soon enough people started screaming both their names and she carefully walked to him.

He took a couple of steps to meet her halfway and offer her a hand, making everyone go crazy. She giggled before placing her hand on his shoulder as he put his on her waist. They continued posing for a couple of minutes before they went back to solo pictures. 

The moment they were out of that part of the carpet they laughed and took a breath, now they were being pushed to different interviews and people asking for pictures. The scene was very crowded, but they were approached by an E! News producer who said they both were on the list of interviews and if they minded doing the interview together because time was running out.

They agreed and noticed Giuliana Rancic was waiting for them. Shawn again offered his hand and helped his friend with the steps while being careful to not step in her dress. 

“Well, see who we have here! Two of the biggest names in the music industry right now and multiple nominated artists tonight, Shawn Mendes and (Y/N)!” Giuliana introduced them and some people surrounding cheered while they greeted to the camera. 

“Thanks for having us,” Shawn replied with his charming smile. 

“You two look absolutely incredible. Ladies first, who are you wearing? Because I have to say that seeing you back in the Globes and tonight makes you climb to the top of the list of the best dressed during this awards season!”

“My God, you are so nice! Thank you so much! Well, tonight I'm wearing Christian Dior from head to toe,” She motioned her dress and shoes. 

“Well, you make this dress look ten times more beautiful, don’t you agree?” Giuliana asked Shawn.

“Absolutely, I think I’ve said she looks stunning like ten times since we arrived,” He said trying to play it cool, but his hands were sweating.

“Aren’t you a charmer!” Shawn smiled at the camera before Giuliana asked him which designer was responsible for his looks.

“Tonight I'm wearing Armani,” He subtly showed his watch to the camera, earning a laugh from his friend. 

“Is there any pressure or nervousness since you two are nominated on the same categories?” “I don’t think so,” (Y/N) answered. “We have been friends for a while now, even one of our best friends, Camila, is nominated tonight and I think we are just thrilled to be recognized amongst so many great artists,”

“Yeah, if you think about it we are still young and got many years to come, but the fact that I get to be here with my best friends celebrating our work is just magical,” Shawn completed her answered and smiled to the interviewer. 

“Great, you guys are spectacular! Thank you so much for joining us and good luck! Especially for Shawn since he’s performing tonight!”

They said goodbye and Shawn again helped his longtime crush out of the small stage.

“Is it time to go to our seats?” (Y/N) asked Shawn who shrugged. 

Only fifteen minutes were left when the same woman on the black dress told them it was time to head inside the venue. They waved to the photographers scattered around the red carpet for the last time before entering.

Their seats were on the first row, they could see people filling the seats and the biggest names on the industry greeting each other. 

They were reaching their seats when they spotted Camila and her boyfriend. 

“I was wondering where you guys were!” Camila said excitedly and hugging (Y/N) while Shawn shook hands with Camila’s boyfriend, Matthew. 

“It’s so crowded outside you can barely move,” (Y/N) said adjusting her dress before taking a seat. 

“When are you supposed to go backstage?” Camila asked Shawn.

“Uhm, I think I have to go during the first commercial break,” Shawn said and both Camila and (Y/N) clapped in excitement. “Please don’t embarrass me during the presentation,” Shawn teased them.

“Not a chance! We’re your biggest fans AND your best friends, of course we are going to embarrass you in front of the world!” (Y/N) said and hugged Shawn’s waist, completely ignored the look Camila gave Shawn. 

“You guys are so annoying,” Shawn wrapped his arm around (Y/N) and softly kissed the top of her hair. 

Camila almost squeaked in excitement. Why weren’t they together yet?!

-

Ariana Grande had beat both Camila and (Y/N) for the award of Best Pop Solo Performance, making them laugh and cheer loudly for the brunette in stage. 

The ceremony was coming to an end when the category where the three friends were nominated, the Best Pop Vocal Album category was up. Camila interlaced her fingers with her boyfriend when the camera was in front of her as her name got announced, closely followed by Shawn and (Y/N) that smiled at each other. 

“And the Grammy goes to,” Bruno Mars opened the envelope, “(Y/N)!” 

Everyone jumped from their seats except from the winner, who covered her mouth and slowly rose from her seat. 

Shawn engulfed her in a hug so tight while whispering congratulations on her ear. He almost let impulses get the best of him and kiss her lips, but he only kissed her cheek before letting her go. 

The entire audience cheered when Shawn helped her to the stage, carefully adjusting the back of her dress on the stairs before cheering for her. 

Her speech was shaky an emotional as she held her award. But the best part for Shawn was when he felt the camera next to his face, but nothing could erase the smile as she thanked him. 

“People say it’s hard to meet real people on this industry, but I just look here on the first row. Camila Cabello, Taylor Swift, and of course Shawn Mendes. Incredibly talented people who deserve to win just as much as I do. And a big support for me during this process has been this man standing here,” She pointed at Shawn. “Thank you for being my friend and guiding me through this process. I wouldn’t be the same without you and I love you, you are the best friend in the world,”

She continued mentioning her family, but Shawn knew there was something igniting inside of him and it was nothing like he had felt before. 

That something followed him the entire night. 

It was the courage to finally make his dreams come true and be with her. 

Love her. 

That was the reason why he didn’t let go of her during the entire night as they made appearances on the various after parties. 

They were getting drunker as the night passed by. He could feel her leaning on his shoulder, trying to find warmth since she had changed her dress into a short one and chills were covering her body. 

Her face was hidden on his neck during the majority of the night. They had lost their friends now as they stepped inside Post Malone’s after party. Paparazzi were having a field day as they walked inside with linked arms and she hiding her face and Shawn shielding her from their view. 

“Should we dance? I think we’ve had too much to drink,” She giggled and took his hand. 

Shawn smiled as she let another button on his shirt loose, exposing his chest. They were dancing, carefully trying no to bump into other people as they giggled in the dark room. 

He felt her face getting close, she even smiled at him as their noses bumped into each other, but he knew he didn’t want this to be dismissed as a drunken decision, so he delicately separated their faces and offered her a drink.

He missed the devastated look the drunk Grammy winner gave him. 

-

Two weeks had passed since the Grammy awards and Shawn was isolated in his room watching Just Jared instagram stories. 

People were confused, and to be honest, so was him. 

Multiple pictures of him and (Y/N) had resurfaced after heir drunken night. People were speculating whether or not they were officially dating, if they had started dating just now if if this had been going on for years.

But just two days after this, pictures of his girl and Timothée Chalamet appeared, making everyone, Shawn included, confused. 

He didn’t call her again. He ignored her texts. He didn’t even bother to check her Instagram.

And she noticed the lack of presence of a certain tall boy in her life. 

She was giving up on trying to reach him when he finally texted back.

“Sorry. I've been busy, you wanna talk about something? I’m leaving LA tomorrow.”

Her heart skipped a beat and told him to meet her at her house. He agreed and she started to patiently wait for him to arrive. Later, she saw his car on the camera, she tried to look her best as she opened the door as he parked his car next to hers. 

She smiled shyly, “Hi,” 

“Hey there,” Shawn gave her a quick hug.

They stepped inside and the first thing Shawn noticed was the Grammy standing proudly on top of her piano. 

“It looks nice,” Shawn pointed at the award. 

“Thanks,” She thanked quietly. “How have you been?”

“Good, you?” He asked her. 

“All good, thanks,”

They stared at each other quietly. Shawn was going to ask her what the hell was going on with the actor when she interrupted:

“Are you mad because I won?” She blurted, making Shawn’s eyes widen. 

“What?” He asked in disbelief.

“You’ve been ignoring me. Is it because I won our category?” She asked while fearing the answer. 

“Are you crazy? Of course not!” He replied offended.

“Then why have you been ignoring me? What’s going on with you? We had a moment, things clicked and it felt right, but you just bailed on me!” She told him with her voice full of anger but it was soft. 

Shawn took a deep breath. This was it. The moment he had been waiting for yet fearing the outcome. He didn’t realize when his heart started to pound against his ribcage, but he calmed his breathing and started pouring his heart out. 

“I’m scared,” He confessed. “I really like you, and I have for a while now, ever since I saw you. But I'm scared because we are friends, and you mean a lot to me and I can’t help it. We are constantly in the spotlight, I don’t want them to damage what we already have, but that doesn’t mean I don’t like you any less, because...” 

Shawn’s ramble was suddenly interrupted by a pair of soft lips against his own.

He instantly relaxed and everything felt natural. His hands fell on her waist as he drew her closer. Everything felt familiar yet strange, but the most important thing...

It felt right. 

[snugglyporos]

Okay ya’ll I have to rant for a good minute about the Fate series because my stupid autistic brain has been hyper focusing on it for the past four hours and I need to put these thoughts down or I’ll never get rid of them. 

I’m so... disappointed? frustrated? mad? Idk what I think. It’s all of these things to see such a great idea executed so awfully. So lazily. So incompetently. 

Because I can’t help constantly engaging with it and going ‘you know, this would be really good if they just did x.’ There’s so many monumental moments of stupidity that I can’t help but go ‘wow that’s dumb as hell.’

There’s a rule in fiction where the larger the stakes are, the more complex and unwieldy it gets, because it effects more things. That’s why usually the best fiction involves low stakes overall, or personal stakes, because you don’t need to then consider the cosmological complications of your story. Having a story that involves magic, time travel, secret organizations, multiple illuminati organizations on top of those, and countless other bullshit does not make for a coherent or compelling story. 

I’ve said before that one thing I hate is the idea of a ‘world organization.’ It’s lazy as hell. If Russia and China couldn’t get along when they were both communist, the idea that the entire world with all its varying ideologies and ethnic groups could be run by one group of people is nonsense. People can barely coexist with others like themselves. Furthermore, in our age of nationalism, the idea that say, China would have their top brass subserviant to western illumiati is stupid. It’s also stupid in the reverse. The idea that all of ANYTHING is ruled by one group of people is stupid and it makes you look lazy to write things like that.

Second, trying to put your story in the ‘real world’ or any image of it while claiming that all the world’s mages belong to one organization while ‘the church’ that runs all religions exists is stupid. It defies belief. It also wouldn’t be an issue if they weren’t dead set on trying to explain how this goes on in the ‘real world’. 

Also, apparently time travel exists. Also, all of human history was erased. Yet somehow they go back in time, and summon people from the future. You know, going back to a time that doesn’t exist, and summoning people from the future who haven’t been born yet, who also don’t exist. Time travel is ALWAYS stupid. It’s ALWAYS bad. Always. Because the core notions and questions that it brings up immediately reveal why it is stupid. Let’s say you sent one person back in time. If you witnessed it, and didn’t go with them, you should now not exist. Why? Because the act of something being somewhere that it wasn’t before creates a paradox. The only way it doesn’t is if the world you lived in is the same world where they went back in time, and that raises questions about fate and free will, and most authors simply aren’t interested in getting that metaphysical, and as such render their stories incredibly stupid. 

But! Let’s try, for the sake of arguement, to put aside all this nonsense. Does the core idea of the story make sense? Are there clear, defined rules? No! Nothing makes any goddamn sense. Apparently, magic exists, but then there are magic circuts, which aren’t explained. The rules about everything is not explained and is frequently contradicted. Example. Who can be summoned, and how? Sometimes, it’s anyone. Sometimes, it’s different versions of someone. Sometimes, it requires a piece attached to that someone. Sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes, where the person is summoned changes how powerful they are, and sometimes it doesn’t.

But they can’t even get their basic shit right. Example: is Dracula a vampire or is he not? Because the series can’t decide if it wants to allow people from history OR people from fiction to be summoned, it can’t decide if someone like Vlad III is undead or not. Are you going with the version of history where he was an insane, murderous, nationalistic king? Or are you going with the version from the story of Dracula, a work of fiction? You can’t have it both ways!

Here’s another example: can you summon gods or not? Heracles is summoned, and Heracles is a god. He was literally made into a god at the end of his own story. Even if you go ‘well, the version that people can summon is his non-god self from before the end’ he is still a demigod. Which means that you’re now getting into weird territory where it’s unclear who and what counts as someone who can be summoned.

But then you get into having to think about all the weird historical revisionism that the series plays with. Look, historical fiction can be fine. What I don’t understand is the series’ weird fixation with turning some of histories worst individuals into anime girls. You could certainly, for example, make a version of King Arthur where all the sexes are switched. Granted, a whole lot of the story wouldn’t work, because characters like Morgan Le Fay and Mordred no longer work in their story roles anymore. But you could, theoretically do it. 

What I don’t get is why the series says, ‘you know who we should depict as a kind and gentle anime babe? Nero.” You know, the Nero who kicked his pregnant wife to death, castrated a man and forced him to marry him, put on plays that people were forced to attend and then executed anyone who yawned or sneezed during his performances, and who built a private lake where the Colosseum now is, put a floating house on it, and had the ceiling have an accurate replica of the starry night sky using precious gems, only to then remark that ‘now I can live like a human being.’ Yeah, that Nero. Clearly, this just screams that we need to depict them as being a kind and gentle ruler, and not say, an unstable psychopath who sees himself as a literal god walking upon the earth. 

But that’s not even their worst offence. They turn Elizabeth Bathory into a pop idol. You know, one of histories worst serial killers? The person who had innocent women murdered and then bathed in their blood? Yes, clearly that is someone we should portray as an innocent girl. 

And it’s not like history is lacking in great women who did fantastic things. There are scores of heroines to choose from if you want to use them. You don’t need to pick serial killers and sex change the most insane emperors.

But even some of the ones they do pick don’t make sense. Why the fuck is Marie Antoinette considered a ‘heroic spirit?’ If we go by her in popular myth, she’s best known for something she didn’t say, which is ‘let them eat cake.’ Why the fuck did that mean ‘let’s make her someone who is entirely misunderstood and loves the peasants?’ Also, why a ‘rider’ and choose her for that because of her being pulled in a cart to her execution? The fuck?

It beggars belief. It utterly confounds the mind. It’s lazy, and its shoddy. Almost as shoddy as the notion of ‘classes’ which makes no sense and apparently has a heirarchy, which itself makes no sense if the whole point of having people fight is to decide something. Having people fight where someone gets an innately better class at random makes no sense. Hell, having classes at all makes no sense. Having it be okay for the things you summon to kill those who summoned them to win makes no sense, because if all you needed to do was kill each other, you don’t need heroes to do that! 

Hell, the fact that they’re fighting over the ‘holy grail’ and that it was made in japan is nonsense already. The holy grail is literally arthurian legend. I know japan gets a pass for this shit, but I don’t know why. Everyone rolls their eyes when they say that ancient egyptians look exactly like modern day japanese people, but apparently it’s also okay that they just straight up steal something from arthurian legend as a premise... and then entirely botch that premise or understanding anything ABOUT it. 

Here’s an idea. If you’re going to use the holy grail as your plot device, you know the thing Jesus drank out of at the last supper, maybe don’t then say that people can just make them all over the place? That’d be like if in the last crusade, all of the cups that Indiana Jones found were all capable of being the holy grail. It’s stupid.

Why is it so hard to just do something simple? You don’t need to overcomplicate this shit. Grab some characters who each want a thing they can’t have, have them be represented by some great hero, have them fight for that thing, and you’re done! You don’t need to bring time travel, the illuminati, nonsense magical rules, and metaphysical shit into this! 

Again, maybe the creators have no desire to do anything other than try and see how many awful historical people they can put boobs on. It’s starting to remind me of that book that went around a few years back where someone drew history’s greatest murderers as anime babes, so you could see guys like Stalin, Hitler, and Pol Pot as big tiddy anime girls. Why? Idk. 

But if the series wants to do that, if all it wants to do is wallow around in its own shit, it’s taking way too much time and effort trying to make up stupid nonsense. It’s just so frustrating and disappointing to see an idea with such promise be farted away by people who clearly do not give a shit about what they’re making in the slightest. It’s a damn shame.

[batgaydoctor]

they're married, your honour

this was so normal….